Snapple Rain = Divine Ambrosia

In case you don't remember it, Snapple Rain was a precious clear nectar that quenched many hot, nasty thirsts. The kind of thirst you get in the dog days of summer when your tongue begins to swell and adhere to the roof of your mouth. Thirst that feels like this: 

“I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?
”

 But probably really looks like this:

Ooh, I was a wee bit thirsty. That's better.

Snapple Rain was produced in the 90's, that magical decade of many amazing things. I could write the history of the Elements series of beverages, or tell you when Snapple Beverage Corp. discontinued Rain. However, I realize two things: you have a search engine and you also probably don't really care about the backstory.

I come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the harsh winds blow

It was made from white grape juice, prickly pear extract, and agave cactus nectar. The flavor was indescribable... imagine that you are drinking the most divine sweet water with delicate white fruits. Rain brought to mind the succulence of aloe vera minus the green flavor (probably because of the cactus), the clean flavor of pear juice and the sugariness of white grape together. Perhaps the most perfect drink ever made. My husband and I bonded over our mutual love for this drink in our early relationship. That's how damned good it was. 

All right, add ten years and ten pounds... on the girl. (Not ashamed of being plump!)

I dare you: do a search for "Bring Back Snapple Rain" on your browser. Far more popular than say, "Bring Back Sharkleberry Fin Kool-Aid" or "Bring Back Hubba Bubba Soda." (Both of those products were also amazing, by the way. We had products in the '90's that tasted like the colors pink and teal look together. Yes, that awesome.)

It even came in a diet variety for those of you who like the nasty taste of aspartame!

Later, Snapple put Rain drink in this ridiculous aluminum can that completely ruined its fragile flavor. The aluminum taste leached right into the drink and altered the flavor in a horrible way. Cadbury Schweppes killed the Elements drinks after the bad decision switch to aluminum bottles. They don't realize how much CASH CASH MONEY they'd make if they could bring back the original recipe in the glass bottle, but then again, they probably don't care. 

There are definitely CEOs out there who look like this. I'm sure of it.

The name of my blog is F.U.C.K. For Unlawful Culinary Knowledge. A lot of people haven't tasted Rain before. My challenge to you: find someone who was at least 16 years old in 2000 (not born after 1984) who was a Rain aficionado. Take the basic ingredients of Rain and recreate the drink. Let the Rain freak give it the seal of approval. Send me the recipe so I can recreate it. I will do my very best to make you a celebrity. 

In the immortal words of the animator Tite Kubo, “If I were rain /that joins sky and earth that otherwise never touch / Could I join two hearts as well?” Rain has united many people. Sign the petition to bring back the divine nectar here.

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